SOLDIER

you burden the soldier

with your expectations

you want him to win a war

in which you will never go

you want him to give his life

while your blood will never flow

you will thump your chest

and howl battle cries

for him to return in a body bag
and you forget him pretty soon

CIRCUMFERENCE

You built walls 
The domestic ones

And found everything within
Your world, your life

Your purpose within

The family was precious

Yours that is

What lay beyond

Did not matter

The empty bowls

The festering wounds

The blown limbs

The body bags

Was not seen

The ghettos

The tear stains unnoticed

The million faces

The million bruises

Were only sights

To be seen

Through your window panes

SWALLOWED

loneliness

creeps into my room
from some corner

it enters

it grows

it overwhelms me

i cower

i withdraw

i cover my eyes

it is ruthless

in its advancement

gruesome

in its completeness

i am shrunk to the wall

it yawns

its black gaping mouth

i am swallowed

in a gulp

it is lonely in here

in this loneliness

is there no way out

it presses on me

i am bogged to the ground

it is impossible

you know

to drag a lonely self

to rise to activity

to tend to occupation

to pretend loneliness

just walked out

the way it came in

Haze of Proximity

it is raining

my world
is an indigo blue
i think
again and again
of you       
in going away
you are
closer to me
you transcend distances
and rise boundless
you defy
all definitions
and make our relationship
limitless
that which
you could not be
in one place
you have by retreating
into oblivion
today you appear
larger, nearer, dearer
without
the haze of proximity
your person seems
sharper, neater, more erect
you pervade  life
and sink into me
your personality soars
in going away
you’ve found yourself
i am glad
i could give you back
to yourself

unreal

the skies are downcast

and expressions overcast
outlines recede
landscapes blur
the rains move across
horizon to horizon
cleansing space
in gigantic sweeps
foliage drips
with uncanny grace
the breeze sways
at a haunting pace
this world is unreal
dream like
in its face
you have been gone
for days
knowing no end
and i have waited
with a patience
uncanny to my race
it is tiresome my love
to be reasonable always
i can be trying too
it is time you knew
how this
rain like gloom
pervades all life
and leaves me cold

 

still a chance

cobwebs hang

on my brain
dust has settled
into my lungs
the blood is
drying
it s not anemia
the system is tired
it’s not old age
youth
lies buried somewhere
the spirit shies
it’s not weakness
i am alive
but
death has come
many times
occasionally
the mind raises
some dust
maybe there’s hope
maybe
there’s still a chance

 

ashes

in every dawn

there lingers the ash

of the dusk gone

in every tommorrow

is the stink of

a wasted yesterday

today lies

in the middle of nowhere

hopelessness

yet hope lurks around

I’ve stamped on it

many a time

it neither dies

nor rises in flame

a spark smoulders

and singes the being

 

 

disintegration

hold me

for there i go

the disintegration

of my person
has begun
the ingredients
of my elements
are falling apart
in the disorder
of things
you have
lit the death fire
razing me
to the ground
to the level
of all others
the system which
i so proudly held
you have succeeded
in making it unrecognizable
hold me for
there i go
i cannot bear
to see it so
the being
that was one whole
is gone
that thing called me
is no more

 

walk away free

kill your soul

and live on
the currency
for buying peace
no questions
no hopes
no aberrations
live on
fulfill obligations
do your duty
duty
the primordial millstone
the millstone
we all carry
often willingly
sometimes grudgingly
for we have
promised to tag along
to break not the shell
to feel not the air
do all that we hate
and carry on
pull the shutters down
let the brain freeze
let the heart die
to hurt all the time
but not dare
to live and
walk away free

morning dew

 

the torture of my eyes

is the pain

of my soul
the dark circles
their guardian
they look on
my eyes
silently
awaiting the outcome
when
will the sun rise
when
will dawn break
the soul is restless
for the  brightness
of day
time is a dark cage
but
i will live through
i will survive
it all
it cannot go on
being night
all pain must ease
one day
when light will make
its graceful advent
the cool breeze shall
raise spirits sky high
and my soul will
bathe in morning dew

gnawing hunger

it rises to a crescendo
and then
gradually dies down
after all, how long
will hunger gnaw
how long your
stomach growl
it has its limits
if it does not get
what it wants
it will quiet down
soon your exhaustion
will overpower you
and your tears
put you to sleep
as you huddle
your knees to your
caving belly
your raving mind
will travel
in your dreams
it will go back
to caring hands
it will dwell
in imagination
it will revel in peace

Shutters Down

when did the sun rise

when did it go down
between sunrises
and sunsets
where was time
where was life
where was i
if i am here now
i must have been
then too, but
mountains of paper
miles of commutation
kept the shutters down
no light came in
the decay went on
in the geometry
of ambition
and progression
maybe i came through
but what use was it
if i didn’t know
when the sun shone
and
when it went down

Lost Cause

suspended in
time and space
i swing like a
pendulum
like a baseless jelly
like a disappearing
mist
i do not know
my own relevance
i do not understand
what gap i fill
what role i play
what need i fulfil
i perform
i move
between extensions
and projections
i commute into the past
and delve into the future
yet
like a lost cause
i cannot come to grips
with this awesome
mystery
this gigantic immensity
i lose myself
in the backwaters
of life
and drown in the
quicksand of time

time

i was looking
out of the window
and i saw time
walk past
was it a stroll
or a gallop
i am afraid
i don’t remember
i have been
absent minded of late
guess its all
this loneliness
what does it matter
anyway
if it was
a gallop or a stroll
all that is important 
is that it has gone
time the elusive evader
it has gone or almost so
imagine
it walked past so close
and went unnoticed
unrealized
now don’t make excuses
of its hushed  footsteps
you were aware
what if only vaguely
you could
have woken up
made a start
now don’t hasten
don’t scramble
it’s a lost race
you’ll only break
your neck

night in your eyes

there is evening on

your face

it is the sunset

the hope of your eye

is the distortion

of a ray

there is night

in your eyes

it is the black of your

scare

your departure

is not a let down

of today

it was inevitable

even yesterday

blizzards

of passion raged

across

visibility was nil

there wasn’t much

the other side

only a bit of deceit

and a euphoria

within

there was a rose

in the heart

and speed in the veins

what the human heart

did not feel

the eye never saw

a thorn in my flesh

the knife in your reach